My interviewees are everywhere!

In reading for my secondary literature, I came across a book called Gay Identity (1987, McFarland & Co.) by William H. Dubay. A quick Google search showed that he was a former catholic priest who was eventually ... disrobed, if you will. He published a text that was highly critical of the church and was eventually suspended from his clerical duties.

What's so fascinating about this is that in his acknowledgements he thanks someone with the same name as one of my interviewees. The person whom he thanks also happens to live in the same city as the individual I interviewed. So, with much excitement, I just e-mailed my interviewee to ask him if, in fact, he's the same person. I'm very intrigued to find out more about this story.

Also... this former priest came out (hence his impetus to write the book). It's great. For a book published in '87, it's incredibly nuanced given his references of the works by Boswell in Christiniaty (though that's to be expected), but he also engages with Foucault in a surprisingly accessible way. Then again, he did become a teacher of technical writing in California after he left the priesthood. Or at least that's what's claimed in his Amazon.com biography.

And to think I only checked out his book because I wanted to read more about labeling my interviewees as 'gay-identified' -- What does that mean? I am trying to grapple whether, in labeling them as such and claiming that their identity as gay is important to them in the present day I am being dishonest with my intentions of quilting their narratives and appropriating their words in a way that misrepresents them. What would Saukko (Qualitative Inquiry, 2000) do? More importantly, why is it that Saukko changed her approach from Deleuze and Guattari's "quilting" to the layered narratives that she claims are informed by her "hermeneutic feminist spirit" (Saukko, 77, The Anorexic Self, 2008) in her subsequent reproduction of her QI article eight years after its initial publication? What's missing? What has changed?

Blogging on the go... (from my mobile)

I love the idea of writing on the go. This is my twitter. Much more intimate, much less overwhelming. Win.

Oh, Wednesday...

So today was an interesting day. I have tons of pages... of quotes. What ever happened to my own voice? I spent part of the day at the Archives taking photographs from the yearbook to get some background info on the people whom I've been interviewing. Who would've thought that the dashing young gentleman in the Republican Club would go on to claim that he also enjoyed the occasional tryst behind garbage cans in dark alleys. I enjoy these complexities in people's identities. They are fresh reminders that everyone is entitled to traverse through categories unapologetically.

I got an e-mail from alum, class of 1950, who is interested in participating in my study. That brings the total of voices to seven. Given that he has already printed material on his experiences, I know what to expect (or do I?). That also means that I have a whole new 1+ hrs to transcribe. Oh joy. If only I could transcribe as quickly as I rant in this blog. Life would be easier.
Other than the visit to the Archives (which I will, in all likelihood, be repeating on Monday) I have plans to return to the Athenaeum on Friday from 10-4pm (why can't they have the reading room open for longer?) Same for the Archives: 11am-4pm. It's so hard to get things done when you only have five hours to get your work done, especially when it takes me around 30 seconds to read ten handwritten words. I never knew I would go back to the days when I was into code-breaking (Artemis Fowl, anyone?)

For about ten seconds I contemplated uploading some of the portraits of the people I had perused today. Then I realized it was probably unethical. I'm assuming the IRB's willingness to prod these people's memories doesn't extend into my blog.

Okay, back to thematically sorting my quotes, eating my multi-grain cheerios with 1% milk and thinking about the days of yore.

Wednesday morning

Today I realized that someone had already done the research I wanted to do long-term. How is it that someone already thought about masculinities, queerness, coming out and the structural implementation of advising at institutions of higher education already? At first, I was frazzled (in fact, this person also states in his book that a similar event happened to him). Then, I realized that I wanted to approach this type of research less as a practitioner and mores as a historian interested in queer theory. And I thought to myself: "That's probably just because you've yet to have the opportunity to be a practioner yourself." And then I realized that I was somehow succumbing to the grand narrative of the academe: striving for new thought, restless by a fictitious quest for "new" knowledge. In fact I should be celebrating that someone who is my senior is already making leaps and bounds in the very field I want to enter. It can only be something positive. The ground is fertile to continue a conversation. This is exciting.

Verdict for the Day

Not a good day.

Back from the Library

Happily at the Women's Center (so glad that it's open again!) I have a new stack of books and I'm starting to plow through them. I still have to transcribe Bob... but for some reason that's one of the hardest interviews to listen to. Must be done.

New Week: January 4th

I woke up to silence this morning. By that I mean that I cracked open my eyelids four minutes before my alarm went off. Those precious four minutes. I was so flustered that I closed them again...and ended up dozing off for an extra twenty-one minutes. So we'll see if this transcription will happen prior to 8.55 am which is when I'm taking off for PT. Then, returning books at the W, getting 6 more. New titles to be added to the collection:
a) Gay Metropolis
b) Queer Men on Campus
c) Coming Out Under Fire
d) Gay New York
Alright. Time to hit the shower.
Goal for today: Finish transcriptions. Thematically organize all interviews. Cinco páginas. Sí se puede.

Goal(s) for Sunday, January 3rd, 2010 Evening

It's hard to believe that it's already the the third day of a new decade. And I've yet to write something during this new year. I have physical therapy tomorrow at 9am, which means I should try to squeeze in a substantial amount of sleep tonight.

I spent the better time of today thinking about high school memories. My friend Martha's birthday was today. She's all the way in Taiwan. We had a two-hour long conversation about our life since high school. Things have changed, to say the least. She wondered whether we'd still get along. I told her I had become bitter and critical. She replied "ditto." What does that say about us? I'm not sure. In any case, we've distanced ourselves from the people who we used to be in high school. College has been an incredible four years; with its own peaks and troughs. It's hard to believe that the last semester of my college experience is a mere 23 days away (but who's counting?) I'm excited for what is to come.

But before I get ahead of myself with these musings, I'd like to finish transcribing my last two interviews. The third one with Ben G. and the first one with Bob R. I have a lot of thinking to do about Bob. I recall feeling exasperated during our interview. He wasn't giving me what I wanted. And that makes it problematic. What did I want, anyways?
If I'm able to finish transcribing these tapes (~ 3 hours) and then spend another hour thematically organizing excerpts from all six participants, I might have a nice cushion of information to mull over and (gasp) write about tomorrow after PT. 21 pages by Jan. 6th. Oh dear.

Starting with a writer's block

I have a dirty little secret: I've always wanted to blog. In fact, I had an online diary back in the day (and by 'back in the day' I mean back in the early naughties). It was hosted in diaryland.com, and I can't even remember my screename for the life of me. Needless to say, there really wasn't much to uncover in said diary.

This new one is the product of a different writing project, namely, my thesis. Why start an intensive writing project at the same time as a project as demanding as a thesis? Well, I'm not sure. Procrastination, I'm sure is the first reason that comes to mind. But there's something more to be said.

Yesterday, after a grueling 7 hours at Starbucks, cozily spacing out in my booth with my friendly baristas, a friend came to visit me to offer some moral support as I faced the daunting task of writing 1,250 more words for my thesis (alas, I churned out a mere 40). She did mention however, a few words of advice. She recommended that whenever I got stuck, I should just keep writing. Even if my writing included something along the lines of 'I just finished watching an episode of Gossip Girl, I know, the show wasn't on back in the '40s, but it makes you wonder...what did the gays watch back in the '40s to keep themselves entertained?" Granted, I'm sure there was only supposed to be comedic value, but it does make you wonder, what were they doing to keep themselves busy? According to one of my interviewees, they "did a lot of drinking [...] champagne flowed freely back then." In any case, enough about the '40s. We just got to the teens and I'm getting a little bit ahead of myself.

Also, this is by no means supposed to turn into a new Sartorialist, but it's a pretty great opportunity to begin posting some photographs.